m o o ?

Friday, August 27

alright everyone, hear out this testiment, because if i forget it, someone else please remind me. ok, here goes... ahem ahemm..... rosalyn lau owes me a drink at atmosphere in 2007 after the kind deed i did for her in giving her a gmail account. what can i say. im too nice.

derek
8:08 AM

haha, feel like such a perasan case today... i'm like... damn ego kembang in front of everyone im talking to. i guess its just one of those days. oh ya, heres something cool for u bored ppl... check this out. oddly, its sickly addictive, and ive had this one for like... 3 hours straight, and now, i'm actually starting to sing and dance like this. havent gone thru one of these since the badger song and the ever so wonderful banana phone. hahaha, few more songs like this, and im really gonna blow my brains out like that banana phone sob.

okays, enough of flash linking for today. lets move along.... resits are over.. im hooked on ragnarok online... and, oh ya, i went anfield. haha, damn syok, finally get to visit my dream city again. dis time, went wif dinesh instead... as usual, walked back from stupid anfield to the train station, 2 hours in manchester, frantically trying to hide my liverpool jersey from the wrathful hooligans called manchester united fans. the game? well, liverpool lost, but they deserved it, played like shit. some graz dude even got double carded without being sent off, so i guess its interesting. referees a kayu, dats for sure, since gerrard was definitely supposed to be awarded a penalty at one point, esp if alien was ref. atmosphere was great, and erm.. dats all? oh ya, fuggin pool didnt make any scarves for dis match. so gay.

haha, dats all folks. ta.

derek
7:10 AM

Sunday, August 22

i really do not get U.K weather. im supposed to be in the hot and dry season of summer, with london and paris going aflame over a heat wave last summer, and barcelona burning up this summer. and right now, its supposed to be smack in the middle of it. the problem? why is it so cold!!! i mean, really... its so cold, i wouldnt be suprised if :

1. its suddenly started snowing
2. my balls shrink, freeze and drop off
3. i went to bed last night, and woke up 4 months later
4. winter and summer just got inverted
5. i'm living my life in the movie The Day After Tomorrow

which actually, no.5 doesnt seem too bad. i mean, hey, any world catastrophy that destroys my uni and any form of educational institution, rendering studying useless and futile, cant be THAT bad, right? ahhh, dreams.. dreams..

derek
8:34 AM

Wednesday, August 18

damn.. exams in 2 days.. panic strikes, and im fuggin sick. bad stuff. i wish the world just blew up now.

derek
7:22 AM

Monday, August 16

holy shit. i'm a sex god. damn, ego kembang. buntut kembang. try it here.

derek
10:10 AM

if anyone read the papers recently, and about the announcement of this will be pleased to know, that microsoft are still idiots despite the release of SP2. my reason? the greatly promoted windows lite, bahasa malaysia edition. of course, i'm not complaining about a bahasa localization. i mean, hey... everyone loves the mouse and keyboard translated as tetikus and papan kunci, and lets delve even deeper into the likes of the world wide web, WWW (Sarang labah-labah Selebar Dunia) or the more obscene Plug and Play (Cucuk dan Main). come to think of it... what about a plug and play joystick? batang ria yang boleh cucuk dan main. hahahahaha. sounds wonderful.

but anyway, i aint focusing on that. i just wanna warn each and every soul thinking, hey, owning original software and not supporting piracy is great, to think again. although i have little clue of the price of XP Lite.. i do know, the full home version is not cheap, and XP lite.. is fecal crap. as what i found here, our wonderful microsoft asian division decided to make windows starter edition look like windows for dummies. i mean, hey... less features... i'm kinda cool with that, not everyone knows how to tweak their com settings and such, and it'd be ideal for my dad. but tutorials on how to use a mouse? hey, gates.. we asians aint complete morons. i cant imagine anyone in malaysia which actually have zero contact with computers. i mean, hey... everyone in the modern malaysia have been to cybercafes, or have some remote experience in hand motion and finger movement to move and click a mouse. oh yea.. maybe they're targetting the orang asli. i mean, hey, its possible. yea.. very possible, except for the fact that they lack electricity to bother! i mean, hey, i respect these aboriginal peeps. they can actually live without tech. something i'd die b4 facing.

aside the treating us like complete morons, what else did they do? oh yea.. remove local area networks. ok, no networking.. that fine, i guess. which means no LAN parties. fine. what else? single user.. no multiple users, meaning no customized besktop and software, or personal settings on programs. i figure i could live with that. oh shit, wait. that means no user-defined folders. no hiding my pr0n. bad. but i'll live. what next... hmm.. lack of security. lacks some patches for new viruses. fine... big deal... morons around the world with XP home or pro, or even XP corporate edition dont bother updating the patches, and they get virus. so if u get infected, you'll be one of the many many many, so theres no need to be shy about it. done.

and here comes the most interesting part. and i quote

With XPSE, only three applications can run at any one time. For example, if Yahoo Instant Messenger, Microsoft Instant Messenger and an e-mail client were running, the user couldn't open a Web browser.

hmmm, i wonder what billy's thinking in that mind of his. maybe his true plan is to piss everyone in asia off, so we switch to linux and live a happy blue screen free life? so lets imagine the situation, where moron (anyone who buys this should be one) decides to call up support of microsoft with some issues (i'm assuming on the very very positive and optimistic side, that microsoft will actually provide telephony support for this). this is all fictional yea.. so dont come sueing my arse.

Conversation between Moron and Support of microsoft malaysia.
*ring ring*
Computer Voice : Welcome to Microsoft Malaysia. We regret to say, that all our operators are busy digging their noses this moment. They shall then to you shortly. please note, we are ripping you off RM5 for every minute you stay on the line. Your wait time is.... 5 minutes.
*25 minutes later*
Support : Microsoft Malaysia Technical Help & Support division. Hello, my name is Support, and i am your tech support for today. please note that this conversation will be recorded for purposed that we may either sue you if you say anything wrong, or we shall send a copy of this to the production team of "World's Greatest Phone Conversations" to make a total fool out of you. can you please state your name for the record?
Moron : harlo? yes... i'm moron..
Support : Good evening mr moron. and how may i be of assistance today?
moron : you see, i'm having a slight problem with my windows. i can't seem to run any programs on it.
support : may i know what version is your windows?
moron : erm.. mine.. windows xp starters edition.
support : *snicker*so there are idiots which buy this product*snicker*
support : well sir, can u describe the problem?
moron : well, i tried to start internet explorer today, but i wont start. i got the error "unable to initialise more than 3 applications at once"
support : well sir, it seems the problem is obvious. you have more than 3 applications running. may i know if u r running any programs?
moron : well, i do have an antivirus software running.
support : thats one application.
moron : and an external firewall called zonealarm.
support : thats two. by the way, may i state that is an excellent idea, to install zonealarm. our windows firewall is already useless, which is why viruses and flying around in the first place. and the third app?
moron : there is no third app.
support : no third app? sir, may i ask, when did this problem start?
moron : this morning.
support : and did you install any software prior to that?
moron : yes.. i downloaded something called AdWare Plus, which helps me control my passwords, save my credit card numbers, remember birthdays, and helps me build a nuclear bomb.
support : congratulations sir. you've just had your first experience with spyware. im afraid that this is the reason why you third app is used up.
moron : and what can i do?
support : maybe you could go to security.kolla.de and download spybot to remove all this spyware.
moron : but i cant. i cant open IE.
support : oh yes, i just remembered. and u cant install it if you have the cd either, because that would make the installation a 4th application. come to think of it, if u actually closed you firewall and anti-virus, it wouldnt help either, because Adware Plus actually installs 132 Spyware programs on your computer. so you will have 129 more applications waiting to run before u can do anything.
moron : can i end these spywares?
support : there is a way, its through the task manager. oh wait, yours is windows starter edition. i forgot, we removed the task manager function from it [Note: microsoft, i truly pray you did NOT do this]. so basicly, you computer is rendered crippled.
moron : then what do i do?
support : you have several choices. you may fork out a couple of hundred bucks, and buy yourself Windows XP Home edition, which i doubt you will be able to install. or you may reinstall Starter Edition, which i doubt u know how to. or, you may switch to linux OS, which is an excellent choice, and much help is available for those who embrace open source software and ditch microsoft.
moron : hmm, then maybe ill switch to linux.
support : excellent choice. may i suggest linspire, the linux OS for newer and more n00b users such as yourself. goodbye.
moron : bye
*click*

as ridiculous as this may sound, it actually is a very possible situation (if the situation comes where they actually remove task manager, or the user doesnt know of the existance of ctrl-alt-del). not to mention, considering windows comes with windows messenger by default, thats one application used? and what about bluetooth? bluetooth places will take up another app? and lets assume they have and asus video card and creative sound blaster (which, is translated as peletup bunyi). so asus and creative have their own drivers and apps which auto load. so 4 apps running. WOW. i got a dead PC already. anyway, you get the drift.

so if u were considering starters edition and its wonders, may i suggest forking out RM5, going to your local pasar malam, and get yourself a pirated Windows XP Pro SP1, Corporate Edition until bill gates decides he's earning enough money, and drops the price of windows. thats it for now.. ive been ranting long enough. goodbye.

derek
9:01 AM

okok, apologies for my absence from this blog. im sure i made many of your lives a better place without me ranting. so.. updates, updates.. lets see..
i'm back in sheffield, all settled down and stuff. cooking daily, which is a darned good thing.. praying i can lose those kilos i repeated put on in malaysia. resits in 4 days, and starting to panic. erm... nothing much to say.. place is boring.... erm... when i get the creative touch, ill post more. as for now, ta.

oh ya! those who survived friday 13th without having a pot falling on their head, or any other mishaps.. congrats =)

HAA!

derek
5:20 AM

Thursday, August 5

oh ya, another note,i succumbed to public pressure, and i got meself a haircut. which actually has several levels. look it.

when its dry and un-gelled... i look like some old china man.
when its gelled, i got spiky hair
when i just get out of bed, its all pointing upwards, like fido dido. or maybe those potato patch toys.

everyone is telling me that i look ~~handsome~~ better with short hair, so i guess i can kiss my good old long hairs goodbye for good.

derek
2:02 AM

haiiih, in less that 20 hours, i'm gonna find myself on a plane jetting off back to the hellhole called sheffield. one thing so pathepic, is that i cant seem to sort out my will to go back. part of me missed sheffield (more like getting sick of msia and its bullshit), and another part of me cant bear to part wif malaysia. depressing? definitely. but i guess ive got no choice, 20 hours, and i am forced to choose sheffield for another 15 months. 20 hours, and i havent even started packing. suddenly, im all stressed out and stuff.
on a side note, today is day one of my zero nicotine plan. and conviniently, ive already fallen sick. just pure coincidence, or am i really hooked and feeling its aftereffects? either way, its annoying, last night in malaysia, and i am bedridden instead!!! annoying.

derek
1:51 AM

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.