m o o ?

Monday, May 30

simply because im bored, heres some quizzies and answers. bloggers, repost this on ur blog and tell the world about urself =P

Most humbling moment - accidentally muttering "fuck" in front of class
Favorite on-screen sex scene - angelina jolie meets ethen hawk in "taking lives"
Celebrity I resemble most - people say i look like pao pei in "young and dangerous", but what do they know
Best or worst lie I've ever told - i'm alright.. really, i'm fine...
If I could be anywhere at the moment - istanbul on the 2nd half of champs league finals...
The five items I can't live without - ciggies, standup speakup wristband, some form of music player, my toothbrush, some hairgel.
In my bedroom, you'll find - an abundance of papers lying all over, ranging from recent semesters notes all the way to last years notes. and maybe some plates.

done. now your turn.

derek
4:01 PM

2.30 am, and i find myself still cooped in the library, attempting to study. makes me wonder why do i actually still do this. hope? no... i've totally lost any shard of hope i had. basicly, i've already given up, and have already done so since i got my results. then what? sheffield has already left me drained and hopeless, something i will never recover from. i think im just doing this to prove to myself something. to show that i still can. that the flicker is still in me. if i screw this up, i dont think i can ever recover. if i succeed, i know i can make it. i know there is a path lit up ahead of me. but with failure, i dont know where can i go. dont know what can i do. just stuck at this point in life, with no more aim or path. just lost.

derek
9:15 AM

the temptation is there to simply put up a radio.blog.club player on this site and pollute everyone with the likes of elliot smith, switchfoot and third eye blind. however, bandwidth and the need for php and xml has just saved your ears for now. so here's a cryout to everyone reading this, someone... HOST MEEEEEE!!!

derek
12:43 AM

Sunday, May 29

Switchfoot - You

There's always something
In the way
There's always something
Getting through
But it's not me
it's You

Sometime's ignorance
Rings true
But hope is not in
What I know
Not in me
It's in You

It's all I know

And I find peace
When I'm confused
I find hope when
I'm let down
Not in me
But in You

I hope to lose myself
For good
I hope to find it in the end
Not in me
It's You
It's all I know

im hooked on "You" by Switchfoot in the past few days. the tune, the melody, the lyric... everything seems to be hitting the right spot... being so soothing. ive got it on repeat on my handphones mp3 player, that im hearing the song in my dreams sometimes. ahh, addictions, wonderful stuff.
on another note, check out tze wei's site. detailing the chronicles of how someone actually got caught for watching porn while his MSN was turned on. pityful sod. which makes me thankful i dont use windows media or winamp when im doing anything funky. not to mention anything special in my computer is named "Malaysian Anthem - Negaraku" or "Third Year Final Project" just to throw people off. so when im actually listening to negaraku and its written on MSN, then heh heh heh. =P

derek
11:28 AM

last night, for the first time in 2 weeks, i did not actually spend my night in the library. for those whos known me as the lazy arsed guys back in SAM and 1st + 2nd year, the shock lies in the fact that i have actually been studying the past 2 weeks. for those who just knew me, yes, i skipped my library night for once. for those who knew me in high school, oh hell yea, the old nerd in me is back!
im actually suprised at myself, although not sure which part. should i be suprised that i can actually still put effort into whatever i do? that i can be a non-slacker if i actually tried? or should i be worried how i actually changed from a nerdy hardworking geek from early high school to a lazy slacker now? high school was never a high point in my life, and it still isnt. i was a non-conformist then, and i'm not one now. ive just changed, easy and simple as that. from a non-social geek back then, to a non-social slacker now. bad social skills? not really. i just dont take the bother to keep in touch. i just reach a point i stop caring. i dont care if im the last person on earth. id still live a happy, if not happier life. so i procrastinate alot. deal with it. bye.

derek
1:53 AM

Thursday, May 26

omg. we won. omg. im still in shock. omg. we won. omg.

derek
7:19 AM

Monday, May 23

What follows is a list of different occupations. The reader must select at least five of them. The reader may add more if they like to the list before they pass it on (after the reader select five of the items as it was passed to the reader). Of the five selected, the reader is to finish each phrase with what he would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

If [Reader] could be a scientist // If [Reader] could be a farmer
If [Reader] could be a musician // If [Reader] could be a doctor
If [Reader] could be a painter // If [Reader] could be a gardener
If [Reader] could be a missionary // If [Reader] could be a chef
If [Reader] could be an architect // If [Reader] could be a linguist
If [Reader] could be a psychologist // If [Reader] could be a librarian
If [Reader] could be an athlete // If [Reader] could be a lawyer
If [Reader] could be an innkeeper // If [Reader] could be a professor
If [Reader] could be a writer // If [Reader] could be a backup dancer
If [Reader] could be a llama-rider // If [Reader] could be a bonnie pirate
If [Reader] could be a midget stripper // If [Reader] could be a proctologist
If [Reader] could be a TV-Chat Show host // If [Reader] could be a pariah
If [Reader] could be an actor // If [Reader] could be a judge
If [Reader] could be a Jedi // If [Reader] could be a mob boss
If [Reader] could be a backup singer // If [Reader] could be a CEO
If [Reader] could be a movie reviewer // If [Reader] could be a monkey's uncle
If [Reader] could be a bible archaeologist //If [Reader] could be a househusband
If [Reader] could be a lifeguard //If [Reader] could be a comic artist
If [Reader] could be a stockbroker//If [Reader] could be a travel writer
If [Reader] could be a food reviewer //If [Reader] could be a politician
If [Reader] could be a male underwear model //If [Reader] could be a fashion designer
If [Reader] could be a game designer // If [Reader] could be a dog-trainer
If [Reader] could be a Transformer // If [Reader] could be a computer virus
If [Reader] could be a porn star // If [Reader] could be another blogger
if [Reader] could be a grain of sand // If [Reader] could be a fly on a wall
If [Reader] could be the Pope // If [Reader] could be the Dalai Lama
If [Reader] could be a whistle blower // If [Reader] could be a Playmate
if [Reader] could be the President of the U.S. // If [Reader] could be a dictator

So here we go
if derek could be a lawyer, i think i'd do a better job at it than an engineer
if derek could be a grain of sand, i'd wish a strong gust of wind blows me out of here, travelling the world with the wind
if derek could be a male underwear model, i'd be an overbloated egomaniac
if derek could be a dictator, the world domination plan begins tomorrow
if derek could be a househusband, i think i'd enjoy like experimenting with cooking and lazing around while the womans at work.

so i'm 2+ hours away from my first paper. confident? not really... but i've already put in so much effort into this, i might as well go all the way. considering the amount i've studies the past week, i've definitely studied more than i did in SAM, 1st year, and 2nd year combined. and since this is the end of the line, i might as well just get through with it. regardless of my results, at least i know i did change compared to the first regretful semester. that i tried to repent for my mistakes. and i shall walk away, shoulders lifted from the burdens, looking forward to the next day.

derek
5:48 PM

Saturday, May 21

i've just returned from an 18 hours study ordeal from the library. so now, the realisation hit me... i'm in my final year of my education! this is it! so i had some flashback of the teachers in my life, and how they influenced it. and heres my thanks to some :

Pn. Chua - my first tuition teacher, and a very very good one. although she actually thought me the bad habit of wiping my mouth with the back of my collar.
Mr. Zulkifli - until now, im still sure hes a lazy ass paedophile.
Pn. Chu - my school teacher in std. 5. infamous for flinging my book out the class for ugly handwriting, and throwing my pencil-box on the floor because it was so messy. apparently, my brother suffered her wrath too!
Mr Teoh - my form 2 maths teacher. thanks for calling my out every class to pinch my cheeks, hurts like hell. and a really nice guy which allowed us to ponteng class to chat with him about World Cup 98.
Pn. Loo - my form 4 and 5 chem teacher. made chemistry fun. and providing the chemicals i needed for my various smoke bombs and pyrotechniques which smoked up the class of 4 and 5 nekad.
Pn. Teo - my english teacher in form 5. has the memory of a goldfish. actually forgot who i was when i thanked her after getting my SPM results.
Pn. Zubaidah - monster reincarnated. scariest thing to walk SMSJ.
Mr. Seng Kee - i actually sounded him back in form 3 after us getting crap results for KH because he didnt teach us well.
Pn. Azizah [evil one] - one of the 2 azizahs in my school. she once said "siapa yang saya slap, tentu jadi bodoh". so i dared her. she didnt.
Pn. Azizah [good one] - my arts teacher! really nice teacher, very sporting, except the time she conned me into painting the classroom on a weekend.

i think thats pretty much most of my memory of school. wonders. how fast it has gone by. hehe. and im somehow feeling very excited and tired both at once. wonder why?

derek
9:48 PM

Monday, May 16

so i'm 21. big deal. to me, it's just another day come and gone. 21 was supposed to be they silver key to adulthood, where u become all matured and stuff. possible? unlikely, i say. it's not like u can magically mature and grow up within that few seconds to transit between may 13th and may 14th. so did i mature? did i grow older? i'm pretty much the same old me.
but the realisation did hit me that night.... and i thought.. fuck it, im 21. im at a crossroad right now, leading to 2 paths. first, to a life as a white collar... graduating after this year, and a 21 year old working man. second, to life as a rounin.... to relive my misery and study once more. my choice? i'm still unsure about that, but at least i'm more focused now. ive organized myself, and re-prioritized myself. which is an improvement. but will i make it? will i get through one of the final barriers of my young adulthood life? i guess we shall see in time.

derek
6:53 AM

Saturday, May 14

pretty ladies and funky gents,
this is derek wong, the derek....

just dropping by to show that i'm still kicking and screaming in the wonderful town of sheffield, setting myself up for a wonderful dose of exams in the next 2 weeks. alot of things have been happening in life lately, many which i shall not and will not explain.... because at the moment, life seems to be at the low point of the roller coaster, without enough power to actually climb up the slope. but, being ever the optimist, i'm sure things will turn for the better. but for now, my life seems like an episode of those soapy chinese serials, where the damsel in distress breaks her leg after tripping over herself, the hero almost gets himself killed while sticking his tongue into an electric socket, and the bad guy decides to turn over a new leaf, and become a porn star with a muahahaha laugh when he goes into orgasm.

derek
4:40 AM

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