here i am, second post for the day, 3am in the morning, and not studying. how sad is that. anyway, while i was busy at work just now (alright, maybe the idea isnt
busy studying but more like
busy copying notes) i suddenly thought,
"hmmm..... i really need to go class and copy notes. cant always leech of chen sern". then it struck me, how i've been actually somewhat dependent on him in my length at sheffield. i never really knew him well back in subang and taylor's days... he was just another friend that me and lik mun dragged off to cybercafe in our engineering escapades. maybe its just cause aside from class times, we never really hung out. he never comes out to our yamcha sessions with alex and kevin, and only once in awhile does he join our gang for a movie or any lepak moments. he doesnt club, so he's out of my ring of clubbing mates as well. but since this four months in sheffield, he's been one of my very close friends, probably the closest. i'm suprised how well i can click with him, considering the few interest we have in common (sports for one, where basketball is my life, while footie is his ... and aside warcraft, i dont see much we have in common), but somehow, we can get along quite well. he's fun to be with.... really funny, cracking lame jokes on a daily basis, and he's really got good stories to tell (well, he is now the gossip king of malaysian sheffield), and he's really been helpful with my studies (the idea is that i leech alot of my notes off him). he did help me thru alot of problems, that sometimes, i feel really in debt to him. dont know how i can ever repay him for many of what he did. come to think of it, he's really the one guy i hang out with alot in sheffield. somewhat, unexpected, but pleasant. great friend he is. thanks alot tong.
expected, but didnt turn out, however, is the metamorposis of mr kevin tan. he was a good friend back in msia, going out for alot of yamchas and movies, rock climbing and clubbing, but now... he's just different. i can't really understand why till now, his drastic change occured. he seems to distance himself from the EEE gang wholly, i seem to get this vibe that he doesnt really like us much (maybe he blames us for his results back in msia, but not like thats much of a difference once he came here and detached from us). or maybe, like what satpal said, he just grew wings in sheffield. he's changed just too much to go back to the old times, i just hopes he notice whats happen to him before its too late. or maybe it is already too late. this fren, or ex-fren depending on how u look at it.. truly regretful. at the moment, i just wish for the best for him.. and hopes he manages the next year and a half. only thing i can do, is wish him best of luck.
next up, is chow hao and ban lee. i must admit, i have changed as well, compared to my SMSJ years. those years arent the best of my years, but if u consider that i've known ban and gan since then, i must say i do feel arkward with them around. not like i was ever close to them, or spoken more than hellos and goodbyes to them back in SMSJ, but it just feels odd when they are around. i think its because i really did changed alot compared to when i was in SMSJ... and well, i'm just afraid how they might view this change. if i were them, i would definitely frown upon myself right now (i'm not gonna try being too self reflective or arrogant here, but i have truly changed from a nerdy good boy to a different person now). thats why, when i'm with them, i feel... well... erm.... trying to become back my old self. clashes of personality, one might say.... hahaha, i sound like i'm having a split personality between angelic derek and devil derek right now. they are nice people, really quite innocent to the tee, and i hate the idea i might actually change them for the worse (although that is highly unlikely). maybe i'm just sensitive to how they view me.... not maybe, i definitely am.
and if u wanna look at old and close friends, where are they right now? david lim.....known him since std 3, and i just suddenly noticed how cocky he got after form 5 (not like i'm much different, but still.... ), i just cant seem to bear talking to him much anymore. terence tan and julian chan, my best mates in form 4 and 5..... and once SAM began, it was all but gone. terence still keeps in touch, and he does have a very nice personality where he makes an effort to keep in touch, and julian, still the joker.... but i dont know, just lost contact. buvein.... quite close in form 4 & 5, now in india, rarely online, and i only meet up with him while he's comes back sometimes. rabiras, knew him since std 6, got quite close in SAM, and still good friends with him now, but theres seems to be this barrier between me and him i never seem to have passed. Philip Chan, i used to actually not like him very much in secondary years, but he became one of my closest bud in college till now.... ironic, isnt it? and theres james mak. i used to be really good friend with kean neen, heck, he just stays 5 houses away. but then, he was kean neen. now, he's james, someone as foreign to me as any other of my ex-classmates. pooi lum? he changed for definitely. he's always wanted to be in the 'in' crowd, so i'm not suprised. i think the word i used to describe him was
wannabe, but who isnt these days?
other than that, theres the friends i have now, that didnt change much (on a friendship basis, u wanna say personality change, just look at ed mund.... WOW!), such as ed mund, philip gan, alex lee (best bud), satpal ... and theres new friends from sheffield.. cha young, darren, andrew... and my fellow classmates which are a lil closer, lee meng, jason, tze jian and such. well, i guess such is the progress in life... there are some regrets in losing some friends, but like an old friend told be before,
C'est La Vie... thats life.
derek, loggin out....
