Wednesday, March 24
hey, guess what time it is. 4 am. yay. i can't belive i'm actually blogging now. i got a footie tourney tomorrow, i should be asleep now, and feeling fresh tomorrow. i think i got a bad feeling about tomrrows game. hah. anyway, updates.. updates.. hmmm, whats there to say? life is as it is. i'm feeling richer lately tho.... spending slightly lavishly.... i'm drinking quite abit recently, going bars on a very unhealthy and daily basis. i even went clubbing, after such a long time. hurrah! and i'm skipping classes to an extended extent... ermm... 5 weeks missing class isnt a very good thing (i hope my mum don't see this), but gunbound has gotten me quite hooked lately. and with the new event goin about, i'm spending 9-10 hours daily in front of my com (well, satpals com, mines a hunk of junk), with my brain juices drooling and oozing out of my ears because of the screen radiation. my fingers aches from sitffness, and lets not even start on my arse, or the lack thereof a feel for it. this is strictly for 10 days only, i gotta get this event done, and afterwards, hopefully, i get back to going to class. of course, ive been telling myself this every day for the past 5 weeks, so i dont think its helping. oh yes, on a light note, easters coming soon. hurrah!!!
derek
12:07 PM
Saturday, March 20
something is wrong with me lately. truly wrong. i seem to be going through this conspiracist maniac session right now, suspecting everyone and anyone around me, friends included, are out to get me. of course, i'm pretty sure i'm just being oversensitive, but i can't get rid of this feeling. everytime someone opens his mouth, my brain will be screaming
"what the fuck! why aint i included on this? am i the last to know???". i hate suspecting about.. its annoying, its stressful, and its baseless. but i can't help it. help me. argh!
derek
11:49 AM
Wednesday, March 17
i just saw
the sassy girl, and right now, i'm feeling all nostalgic. theres just so many things this show itself reminds me of my times with her. just like the lead actress, she was wild and outgoing (of course, she wasnt that boyish to go around punching me in public), and yet she had this innocence, this purity, that was deep inside her. she had this fire in her, the same one which attracted me to her in the first place. i knew it then, and i know it now, that she was always hiding behind this face she showed to her friends. maybe its the company she mixed with, or maybe i just saw her differently.
and chance meeting, and fate itself was how we began. i can remember it so clearly, so vividly, how i met her. theres wasnt a drunken-lady-in-train-station scene like in the movie, in fact, it was totally different. i was in pyramid then, a few weeks after my upsetting PMR results. a chance meeting with a friend i barely knew, and shopping with his group, was her. of course, i didnt know who she was, nor did i dare find out. but after the introduction, followed by the lunch the gang had, i was starting to get along with her quite ok. and before we left, i got her number. it was quite a suprise actually, such chance meeting. i was simply squinting my eyes, looking repeatedly at the number. i knew the number. i called this number countless time since mid of form 3. and i simply blurted out,
catherine leong? she was the one. screen name
kat. and she was gorgeous. just perfect. we hit it off soon after, and the rest is history. looking back, it was really just by pure luck. fate, you could call it, but i'd say no, because fate wouldve kept us together. i was suprised by how she looked then... two other of my real life online friend meeting turned out to be the nightmare date with the horrendous
bakemono.
*groan* i'm bitching too much about this. i have forgotten about, i truly have. but after watching this movie, i suddenly remember all the tiny details, all the happening. down to that very night where it ended. come to think of it, this month is march. this month marks the 4th year of our split. 4 years. i cant believe i'm still into this. maybe its right. i am living in the past. i should move on. i need to.
either way, i've reminised too much already. off to bed. ta.
derek
1:39 PM
Sunday, March 7
now this would be quite a hurdle to overcome. i dont know if i ever mentioned this before, but anyway, my right wrist, was originallt injured a year back, some sorta strain of some sort, and didnt really cured for about 6 months, all the way till i arrived in sheffield. and finally, when it was gone, i ended up in a country where basketball would be the equivalent of ice hockey in malaysia, its a rare sport. so i was thinking, hey, why not wait for my poor ass to get back to malaysia, before i start back (dont forget, i havent played for so long, i'm feeling kinda shy to play with strangers here). and today, the worlds greatest thing had to happen. i think i hurt it all over again. it was hurting a little on and off, and increasingly in the pass few days, but this afternoon, during footie, WHAm! its goners. i was practically crying out of pain in the field back then, and it still hurts like hell now. i cant even move my right hand now, a sudden movement would send a jolt of pain right through it. of course, a jolt of pain would also give be a rush of adredaline, which is one of the ultimate high, next to weed and near-death experiences. worse thing is, i have to blog with my left hand alone, which would be the reason this post itself is taking almost an hour to type. drats. and gunbound with one hand sure is fun. haha, anyway, gotta go twist my hand and get the high right now. ta.
derek
7:42 AM
Tuesday, March 2
ive been having quite abit of dreams lately. i wonder why myself. its different from dreams i usually have... its more vivid and real. many which i wake up in the morning feeling, "oh my god, i thought that was truly real!". maybe its my bed. so many peeps seem to be saying my bed is extra comfortable (haha, i managed to turn my bed into as homely as possible), but either way, this is truly erm... disturbing to say the least. maybe its the homesickness getting to me. i've been dreaming about numerous girls in my life, nothing about sheffield (with the exception of several theft nightmares i get once so often). haha, romance dreams... if i actually compiled all the dreams, i could get a compilation of short romance novels in a book. maybe i'm just missing out on something. either way, dreams would be good for the mind, i guess... and it does help me remember faces of people whos face ive forgotten. but sometimes, i truly do wish my dreams were real, and my life was just a dream. but its all just a dream, just a wish.
derek
1:17 AM
one thing i like about sheffield, minus the crime rate, weather, and various other annoyance, is the fact that there seems to be so little bugs here. ok, maybe its the below freezing temperature, but i'm actually starting to miss those wall climbing lizards, mamak infesting rats, blood sucking mosquitoes, and flying roaches. havent killed one of those in quite awhile. and lets not forget those sugar addicted ants. i miss those pest and rodents. not like i liked them to start with, but i havent scratched on mosquito bites or pulled tails from lizards for quite awhile. haha, cruel me.
derek
1:11 AM
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