a ghost from the past called me today. the one and only girl who ever changed my life so drastically. catherine. it was something somewhat unexpected, considering i've lost contact with her since november, i think. well, maybe not lost contact, but more like ignored her. i just had to get her out of my system, and stop the torture. but just when catherine was but a distant memory, she comes back at me with full force, haunting me. why did she have to call? i wish she left me alone.
but i couldnt let go... i couldnt end the call... i couldnt get off. i longed to hear her voice, longed to see her, to feel her... but now that i think about it... its been too long since we were together. 2000. 4 years. i cant belive i'm still holding onto it. anyway, we chatted and chatted for 2 hours or so... and now, here i am, thinking, could i have made a difference? maybe. either way, this would probably be the last time i'll ever talk to her. tomorrow (or was it day after?), she'll be headed off to australia to study on.. herself starting anew, and so will i. its cruel to admit it, but i was happy when she said she finally broke up with chris (apparently, long distance relationships cant work with her). she defintely deserves better than him, or me. i know she held regrets about us... i could see it from her actions everytime i took her out, but i couldnt bear trying again. either way, its over. either way, its over now. done with. the very long distance chat sorted alot of things out, and i suddenly feel another burden lifted off my back. i actually sat back and nearly sobbed for about 10 minutes. out of happiness or sadness, i dont know. the regret will always be there, but finally, catherine is out of my life for good, only to remain distant friends, with only hi's and bye's between us. it will do us both good. catherine, if you're reading this (i know you do), i wish you good luck in life, and may u enjoy the most of it. ta.

derek
4:23 AM

about the cow
: derek wong : 20 : single : hopeless : student : sheffield : chinese : malaysian :

the cow contact
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: icq : 7247166 :
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: room on permanent messy mode : laundry 3 weeks backtracked : hopelessly in love with s.h.e. : born and bred scouser : dota addict :

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: faq here :

where to now?
post-sheffield, derek has decided to move on to a better place on the world wide web. He can be now found stingily chewing on greener grass here.

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cool blogs
: the storyteller :
: i hate my flatemate :
: confessions of a ditzy bimbo :
: why are you worshipping the ground i blog on :
: postsecret :

resolutions
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