ah beng D : oi, fasta la u. intro ppl oso si beh slow wan. ooo, he pengsan liao. ok, my turn to take over. err, halo ppl, i am ah beng derek. err, wat else to say hor? okla, like dis la, i am the ah beng part of derek lor. i suppose to be inside him wan, but he pengsan now. but u tink us like brader only la, easier to understand. errr...
hothead D : hoi, u stupid mofo. faster can anot? u think i got whole day to listen to you talking cock ah? cibai kia. my grandmother talks faster than u. *grumbles*slow fuck*grumbles*
ah beng D : aiyoo... okla, i faster lor. err, dat one just now, is another brader oso. he is hothead derek, very siu hei wan. abit abit only and he blow kau kau. everyone alwiz kena from him wan lor. so sad. okla, next one leh, is lazy derek. this one, pig wan. only know how to sleep. he oso very sotong lor. blur case is number one! oiks! lazy! wake up and say hello.
lazy D : *opens eyes* huh? what?
ah beng D : wake up la!!! say hi to the people la. or u gonna kena from hothead liao.
lazy D : hi.
ah beng D : only hi ah? intro abit la.
lazy D : lazy. *goes back to sleep*
hothead D : woi... u stupid lazy bitch. wake up please! how the fuck the world can have someone as lazy as u is a wonder. pig.
lazy D : zzzzz
hothead D : ignore me summore!!! never die before ah you!!!!
ah beng D : okie! okie! kao liao!! dun fight so much la. in the end, we all brader la. okla, u all saw liao, that was lazy derek lor. so lazy until never say more than 1 word at a time wan. and next up leh, is...
mat salleh D : thats enough mr. beng. i shall introduce my own self, and save my ears from any more of your horrible manglish. well, ladies and gentleman, i am derek.
ah beng D : *shouts* mat salleh derek!!! this guy is kuai lo wannabe!!!!!
mat salleh D : oh hush. could you just keep your volume low for minute, and let a true gentleman like myself make his speech. well, ladies and gentlemen, as i have priorly said, my name is Derek, often called Mr Wong by others. i excel in the language of english, and have keen interest and well profound knowledge in classical music and fine art. my ears are atuned to the likes of beethoven and mozart, and have eyes for van gogh and picasso. i am fond of italian opera, and have a taste for fine french wi....
hothead D : *drags in lonely D* oi poser. how long you wanna talk keep up your bullshit? u think u got all the time in the world ah? u know how long i took to actually drag this lonely fucker here anot? let him talk first, or i whack u!
mat salleh D : that is such a rude thing to say, mr hothead. do not interrupt me during my speech. its hard to believe that me, a noble gentleman, is actually associated with a impertinent hasty-witted fustilarian such as yourself.
hothead D : what the fuck did you just call me? oh yea.. yo asked for it. you're so fucking dead now!
ah beng D : oik... enuff... kao liaoo.... mat salleh, u wanna si song song izzit now? hothead, ah lonely running away liao.. i think u chase him better lor.
hothead D : *runs after lonely D* come back u horny fuck!
ah beng D : and mr mat salleh ah. can u stop using those french words like dat 'em-pi-te-nin fuisyoh-lian' anot? ppl here speak english wan leh. and ur time up liao.
mat salleh D : but i was speaking eng..... oh never mind. we'll let mr lonely do the talking. i'd like to see what he has to say.
hothead D : *drags lonely D back in* NOW TALK!!
lonely D : why r u dragging me around? i could be out there getting a girlfriend now instead of standing here talking.
hothead D : *grins* or else i'll spread rumours about you having a 2 inch dick. even if its fake, the world won't believe u. and we'll see how u get a fucking girl after THAT.
lonely D : okay! okay! fine...! erm.. hi everyone. as you can see, i'm forced to give a talk here.
hothead D : *WHACK*
lonely D : oowwww! what's that for?
hothead D : dont use the word forced, okay... no ones forcing you. u can leave if u want to, but if anything happens, i'm not responsible.
lonely D : alright.. alright... ok, i'm standing here, on my own will *grumble*yeah right*grumble* *WHACK* OWWW!!! alright already. ok, i'm here to talk about myself. i'm....
ah beng D : horny derek! *WHACK* okla... i shut up la.
lonely D : i'm lonely derek. single most of my life. i'm a nice sweet guy, which has a miserable love life, which makes me conviniently single right now. so any ladies out there who wants to meet a great boyfriend candidate, please contact .... &)(&)$(*)^$ &*$^(*&$@&&)@ ^%%)&^@%&(@^*&^ *%()%@*()@%*%*) _%(#_)%*(%*(! @#$%^&^%$#@#$%^
hothead D : WHAT THE FUCK? whats happening? %^#&(*%^@%*)^$@%$@($
ah beng D : confirm dat hacker fella $&^%$*@&$)(*@$*/-*/$@^(*&@
geek D : h4h4h4h4. 4££ ¥0µr b4$3 4r3 b3£0n9 70 µ$. h4x0r rµ£3! 1 4m 933|{¥ Ð3r3|{. (0mpµ73r$ 4nÐ 4££ h19h 73(h $7µƒƒ 4r3 m¥ 73rr170r¥. 1 4m 4 wh122 |{1Ð.
mat salleh D : ladies and gentlemen, i'd like to introduce you geeky derek. he speaks nothing but the leet language, which surely is as much of a headache for everyone else to understand, as it it for me.
geek D : $hµ7 ¥0µr $p34|{3r, ¥0µ pµn|{. 0r 1'££ µnp£µ9 ¥0µ
hothead D : hahaha. good one. yes, i'll help you if you want to. unplug him!
mat salleh D : oh shut up. don't make me start on you again.
hothead D : u wanna fight now is it? name the place, man....
gamer D : fight? yes! thats a good idea man! where? Silver, JS, or Autosurf? what game? Warcraft 3 or Counter-Strike also not a problem. gunbound also can. if you want, can go back home and play my PS2 also fine by me. i have Tekken 4 and Guilty Gear XX, as well as a arcade type controller.
hothead D : real fight la, u idiot.
gamer D : oh. err... i go play my gunbound first.
ah beng D : this one leh, is gamer derek. his brain ah, only filled with with computer games and such wan. 24-7 also play play play only. his ah ma never teach him b4 wan, kenot sit in front of computer whole day ma!
gamer D : at least better than you. dress like some gangster, hair dyed blond. who do you think you are? chan hou nam?
mat salleh D : haha. gamer does have a good point there. excellent statement.
hothead D : oi! mother never teach u manners is it now? don't interrupt peoples conversation.
ah beng D : gamer, u bo song izzit now? i say truth onli, u wanna cha me until liddat. siao wan u.
gamer D : wanna fight is it now? come la, i challenge u. Warcraft, 1 on 1! i handicap for u summore!
lazy D : zzzz
lonely D : err, can i go now?
gamer D, hothead D, ah beng D, mat salleh D : NO!
lonely D : okay, okay! i'll just go to the side and start SMSing some girls.
lazy D : mmm... *was awake for a moment from the commotion*
the real derek wong : OI! shaddup la u all. some people trying to study wan la!
gamer D, hothead D, ah beng D, mat salleh D : *stares coldly at derek*
the real derek wong : errr, hi!
hothead D : get that rude fuck!!!
ah beng D : chiong ah!!! pek yao!!
mat salleh D : well, if violence is the last resort, i shall do it. get him!
gamer D : err, must we do real fighting? can't we work this out over a game of Tekken? no? oh well, never tried tekken in real life before. time to start. hiyahhh!!!
the real derek wong : AHHHHHHHH. RUNNNNNNN!!!!!!
lonely D : is that a girl i see? hey, leng lui! *run off*
lazy D : zzzz
geek D : 4££ ¥0µr b4$3 4r3 b3£0n9 70 µ$
about the cow
: derek wong : 20 :
single : hopeless :
student : sheffield :
chinese : malaysian :
the cow contact
: mail me :
: icq : 7247166 :
: msn : thefalcon@gmail.com :
: friendster :
the cow persona
: room on permanent messy mode : laundry 3 weeks backtracked : hopelessly in love with s.h.e. : born and bred scouser : dota addict :
the cow questions
: faq here :
where to now?
post-sheffield, derek has decided to move on to a better place on the world wide web.
He can be now found stingily chewing on greener grass here.
bloggies
: rae :
min :
kyll :
rosalyn :
kevin :
adrian :
kim :
choon :
ai lin :
lee sun :
yvonne :
david :
kim hooi :
kee win :
mae :
jin hui :
grace :
cindy :
jessie :
i am kiamsiap :
derek wong :
cool blogs
: the storyteller :
: i hate my flatemate :
: confessions of a ditzy bimbo :
: why are you worshipping the ground i blog on :
: postsecret :
resolutions
: get a girlfriend : get 1st class honours : quit vices : marry karena lam : watch liverpool win europe : better money management : learn japanese : tidy room : be at two places at once :
memories
April 2003
May 2003
June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
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December 2004
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March 2005
April 2005
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August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
January 2006
February 2006
June 2006
August 2006
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November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
credits
site design by chemistry designs
graphic design by kyll studios
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