what would u do, if you could turn back the hands of time?

lies. the single deadliest sin. the one where the 7 sins can only dream of matching. i'd challenge anyone in the world, to name me a single soul, who has never ever lied. as a child, as a teenager, as an adult, as a senior. everyone lies. theres no denying that. few things that separates the good and the bad.

the severity of the lie. white lies. black lies. gray lies.

the frequency of the lie. how often, how rare.

the impact of the lie. to get away with something. to hurt someone. for self gain.

6 years ago, i told a white lie. it was just a small spur of the moment. a simple no-brainer white lie. jsut to get out of a slightly tight spot. so i didnt think anything of it. severity-white.frequency-once.impact-togetaway. no harm done. or so i thought. and then, it jumps right back at me. topics are brought up, lies are questioned. and in a tighter spot than before, i made another. and another. and another. before i knew it, i have spun a web of lies which could put the nixon administration to shame. i cant run away from it. i cant admit it. i cant deny it. i just continue it, over and over again. that was 6 years ago. and now i realize, im living that lie. my life in the last 6 years was built around it. i based my entire self, personality and attitude, on that very lie. and instead of getting out of something, i put myself in a spot so tight, i can barely breathe. issue is, the lie comes so easy. i can answer and create one in seconds, saying it confidently as if the matter was true as the sky was blue. in fact, everyone believes it. and sometimes, i find myself believing it. heck, i live it anyway. my last 6 years of my life, all fabricated, all false. a snowball effect, making a small ripple into a tsunami. and its all so real, i cant tell the truth from the false. some true incidents, i assume were lie. some lies, i believe were true. but my life, a lie.

so what would u do, if you could turn back the hands of time? turn back time to the day i said it. stop myself from muttering it? possible, probably, doubtful. i dont think id dare undo this all. living in this so long, i cant begin to imagine life without it. or what i mightve been. or what i really should be. we'll never know now, will we? and even that, may be a lie.

derek
12:27 AM

about the cow
: derek wong : 20 : single : hopeless : student : sheffield : chinese : malaysian :

the cow contact
: mail me :
: icq : 7247166 :
: msn : thefalcon@gmail.com :
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: room on permanent messy mode : laundry 3 weeks backtracked : hopelessly in love with s.h.e. : born and bred scouser : dota addict :

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: faq here :

where to now?
post-sheffield, derek has decided to move on to a better place on the world wide web. He can be now found stingily chewing on greener grass here.

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cool blogs
: the storyteller :
: i hate my flatemate :
: confessions of a ditzy bimbo :
: why are you worshipping the ground i blog on :
: postsecret :

resolutions
: get a girlfriend : get 1st class honours : quit vices : marry karena lam : watch liverpool win europe : better money management : learn japanese : tidy room : be at two places at once :

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